when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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