at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
