its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
