Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
