3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
