on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
pray to the hookup gods
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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