if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
