the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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