why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize