I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
