All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
