If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
