she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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