dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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