Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
