it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
