fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
