Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
