I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So apparently I’m into choking now
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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