Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
