Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
