Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
