once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
