He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Randomize
