i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
