i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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