are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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