My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
