You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This baby is an asshole
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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