return my video game
My friends, they love my intelligence
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
