She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize