She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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