He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
