just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
