I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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