The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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