Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
