Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize