my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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