I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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