I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
