So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
