Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.

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(813): View more from Florida

I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???

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(502): View more from Kentucky

he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...

(413): View more from Massachusetts

how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers

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(847): View more from Illinois

You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I've had more orgasms than showers this week.

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