Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You smell like stripper and shame
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
