The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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