this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize