I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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