Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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