if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
