I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
