after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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