U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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