Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
