you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
