She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
