Quick, to the slutcave!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
