whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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