no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
